Ask a Planner: Mom can plan the wedding! But does she want to?

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Hello DreamGroup,

My daughter is getting married next year, and we already have our venue confirmed. She and her fiancé are both very busy with school and their jobs and will not be involved in the day-to-day dealings of the wedding. The responsibility of planning the wedding is quite seemingly going to land on my shoulders as a result.

I have limited time myself with no interest in managing all the logistics and staying on top of all the details involved in planning a wedding and want to hire a planner.

The problem is both my kids and my husband think I’m nuts and should be able to handle it myself. How do I help them understand just how much work goes into this and how do I convince them that hiring a planner is the way to go? Thank you so much for your help here. And hey! If you can convince them, consider yourself hired! Ask a Planner Mom can plan the wedding! But does she want to?


Donna M.

Busy Mom of Bride

Ask a Planner Mom can plan the wedding! But does she want to?


Hello Donna,

Great to hear from you! I’m glad you e-mailed as I do so love a good challenge! I can’t tell you how many times over the years I’ve had to work extra hard to help a skeptical groom or suspicious Father of the Bride better understand just what a planner does and can do for them!  Most often these “non-supporters” will say things like…”Well we have the venue and the photographer booked, what else is there?”  That one makes me laugh because choosing a venue and hiring a photographer are the two easiest tasks ahead of a very long and time-consuming list of tasks that will need to be addressed over the next 6-18 months.  Not to mention the 200+ hours of planning involved.

Why wouldn’t you want someone who knows more than you to help lead the way?

In a nutshell, hiring a professional planner will help you get the most out of your wedding experience with a whole lot of confidence, connections, and insight thrown in along the way.  A planner will help you maximize value across the board, maintain your sanity, make the choices in front of you far easier and comfortable to make, and keep these next several months ahead far more fun and exciting than you ever thought possible when spending upwards of 50K.

For simplicity’s sake I have point formed below most of the tasks and duties a planner might assist a couple with over the course of their planning journey. Take some time to review the list with your husband and invite him to give me a call if he would like me to share with him personally just how valuable hiring a planner is.  One of our favourite moments is often at the end of the wedding night when our biggest sceptics (to be honest most often a mother or father of the bride or groom) come up to us with a huge smile and sometimes even a hug and say, “I get it now”. We always say we wish we could bottle that realization and understanding so that future couples and their families could “get it” before it was too late.


A planning journey designed for you…

  • Meet as needed to discuss and manage ongoing decisions, expectations, and fine tune the vision for the wedding.
  • Shortlist and help clients hire their Vendors. Ones that fall within the client’s budget parameter, date, and style expectations. We know some incredible people who offer services within various price points and styles. We’re like Google Reviews, but with firsthand experience who will tell it like it is.
  • Allocate your Budget to maximize its purchasing power. Allow the client to see what their vision will cost them so any adjustments can be made before it’s too late. If working within a specific budget is important then there’s nothing like an experienced planner to help you see the bigger picture.
  • Provide ongoing Inspiration and Ideas. And at the same time be that soundboard and voice of reason to help edit ideas and inspiration when they become overwhelming or “just too much” of a good thing.
  • Create a wedding plan of action. Outlining tasks and responsibilities that need to be addressed will help everyone know what needs to be done and when. How lovely is that?
  • Offer important reminders to help clients stay on track and motivated. Procrastination is a serious Wedding Planning Pitfall with overwhelming consequences that will be avoided with the help of a planner.
  • Support the client through any family issues or tricky dynamics.
  • Provide honest insight and advice throughout the planning to help maximize the vision, priorities, and/or budget.  Also avoid unnecessary planning pitfalls.
  • Facilitate and confirm communications and contracts between vendors and the client to help ensure that the final result is one that meets and better yet exceeds expectations.
  • Finalize balances due and facilitate payments. It’s so nice to not have to think about who has been paid what, when the next payment is due, how much is due, and who to make payments out to and in what format. The planner will do that automatically!
  • Take on the responsibility for the overall success of your wedding day! Every little thing matters to us resulting in lots of big happy things coming together.
  • Offer reminders and a finalized checklist to ensure nothing has been forgotten.
  • Create a realistic wedding day timeline outlining all vendor start and end times, all ground movements including confirmed addresses and contact information, key celebratory elements, speech timing, etc.
  • Oversee or Conduct the Rehearsal.
  • Pick up Wedding Day Bits + Pieces to be set up. i.e. place cards, favors, cake topper, signage, photos, guestbook, etc.
  • On Day Management + Implementation: Available as needed throughout the day to ensure a smooth wedding day flow and to troubleshoot any on day occurrences so the couple and their family can focus on enjoying themselves and being present in every moment the day brings. It goes by way too fast as it is!


Or… you can choose to be the person who decides to use this wedding as an experiment which will more than likely result in lessons learned the hard way, less than ideal choices leading to post wedding regrets, mismanaged funds, and a lot of wasted time and energy. Which person sounds like they will be happier in the end? I rest my case. Ask a Planner Mom can plan the wedding! But does she want to?

Happy convincing Donna and maybe we will meet sometime soon.

Wedding Planner signing off! Until next time… Keep those questions coming in! Submit your questions by emailing us at


Genève McNally


Genève McNally Founding Planner

Check out this insightful article about Wedding Budgets!

Ask a Planner Mom can plan the wedding! But does she want to?

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